This question HAS to be answered…
“I love your responses and I plan to get your program. My guy is…different.
And I don’t know exactly why…..he keeps distant quite a bit and to be honest,
his communication sucks. I tried the “I can’t stop thinking about…”
text …not a single response…typical really. I’ve asked if he’s connected
to someone else emotionally and he says no. (ie: past love, ex, etc)
I’ve broke it off completely a couple times (with his encouragement, actually)
(ie: he says “I want to go and do stuff together still but just as friends” and I
say “I can’t do that..sorry…I have feelings and apparently you don’t and I can’t
be just “friends” so best wishes and I will miss you but we are completely done”)
and next thing I know, 3 weeks later, he’s needing help for something, I help
him out and then he asks me out (we go only as friends, no “benefits”), he asks
me out again THEN cancels! (Same S*** different date) I tell him we are DONE
and 3 weeks later, same thing again, only sometimes with “benefits”.
My heart is a wreck. It’s almost like he really does want me but he is scared. I am not
clingy or bothersome…..we are both very busy….I can’t figure him out.
Its been almost a year since we started dating….the “friend thing” popped
up in February and been dealing with that ever since. I guess I just keep on
hoping. When we are together we have a blast and he’s told me I’m amazing..
.I just don’t get it. I have told him how I feel including just going out and being
“friends” wouldn’t make my feelings go away but yet he continues to seek some
attention. Without a doubt..he’s adult ADD to the max. He has insecurities about
his weight/looks. (I think he is ADORABLE)
BTW…we were good friends 20 years ago when we worked together….
Should I just dump him and never reply to his texts/calls again?
Beth, thanks for the email, but, prepare yourself because my advice is going to be pretty blunt.
I don’t know your guy well enough to know if he’s purposely manipulative or just kind of dumb when it comes to emotions; most guys aren’t assholes as much as they just aren’t in touch with their feelings in any way.
But no matter what, you’ve got to nip all these “give and take” games in the bud. Break things off 100%. Don’t say you’re “just going to be friends”, don’t let him think he can still rely on you emotionally. Tell him flat out that you’re not interested in him as a friend.
And this time, stick to your guns! If he calls you up asking for help with something either don’t respond at all or just tell him you can’t and that you’re busy. And get out there and start dating other people! Jealousy has great way of focusing a man on what he really wants =-)