My Ex wants to be “friends”

I just got this question about how to handle an ex
who wants to be "friends" and wanted to share it with
you because it's a REALLY common situation.
 
 
Krystal asks:
"So my ex just wants to be friends
and when I sent him some of the
suggested texts he said he was
concerned that I'm expecting more.
I convinced him I am fine with being
just friends and in fact agree that
the break-up was a good idea but I
enjoy our good times. I saw him tonight
and he said I looked "well." Is there
ANY hope for me? He did stutter a little
(possibly because I looked hot and was
feeling confident). It's only been 1 month
since the break up. I appreciate any advice!"
 
Hey Krystal,
 
Thanks for your email, you're doing great.
 
A couple things:
 
1. Great job being flippant and "OK." with being friends. The
key with working the Text Your Ex Back program is plausible deniability.
You've got to keep your ex on his toes and wondering what
he heck you're actually trying to do. As long as he's curious and confused
you're doing it right.
 
2. Yup. There's hope for you, but there's no guarantee. There's
never a guarantee of success in this situation. The more
he sees you out in the world, having fun and not NEEDING
him the more subconsciously attracted to you he's going to be.
 
Love your "I agree, the breakup was a good idea" bit.
 
3. That said: Don't actually BE his friend.
 
If you actually ARE his friend (if he can actually
get emotional support from you) there will
be no actual need for him to come back to you.
 
Like I like to say "The only way to get him
back is to let him go."
 
So keep doing what you're doing. Take care of yourself.
Date other guys. And use Text Judo to let him know
how happy and stable you are. Then occasionally
send him a message that confuses the heck of him
and starts reestablishing emotional hooks.
 
Oh, and whatever you do DO NOT SLEEP WITH
A GUY YOU WANT TO GET BACK.
 
Seriously, if you do that you'll kill your
chances.
 
(Weirdly, if you're a guy who wants a woman
back, you want to sleep with her as quickly
as possible.)
 
Great job. Let me know how it goes
from here.

Want to learn more about the techniques Krystal is using?

Check out Text Your Ex Back

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7 Responses to My Ex wants to be “friends”

  1. Strong says:

    Ok my breakup is kinda weird as we did not discuss whether or not to remain friends. I kept the break up short and classy and we both wished each other well. A week later he calls but I didn’t answer because I wanted him to leave a message but he didn’t. So he sends an angry text that night and told me to send his moms picture frame and trash his stuff. He bothered me with random text for two wks asking for the pic until he finally got it. He then thanked me and asked if he can discuss something with me in a week. I said its ok. Then he sent another text trying to be cordial by asking if I went to see the movie “think like a man” I did not respond. That read the last communication as he did not call or text in one week time as requested. It’s been 3mths.
    I am very strongwilled and refuse to call. But I do wonder from time to time why he didn’t fight for our love and if he has moved on. The first few months I know he sees me living a charmed life because i took couple of trips in and out the country and posted pics. Also involved in community events and posted pics on fb. But just recently I decided to block him from my page. I wanted to move on since he wasn’t trying to come back.
    What did I do wrong? Why is he not trying to remain friends. He is the one that messed up not me. Or was I too harsh with my responses after the break up? I have not had any breakups where either party did not want to remain friends. So this is why this is bothering me. Please help.

  2. sara says:

    I am in the same boat however, for NINE years now we have been on an off he sees me with another man he wants me back we will hang out when we both have time which isn’t often. He then a few weeks ago says ” I think we should get married”,I was floored n just let it slide pass n didn’t say anything back….he proclaimed he loved me that nite n mind u I have held my breath to b with him we know every thing about each other we r very much alike now that I tell him I need to see effort n the God aweful C word commitment before I say yes he starts the I want to stay single for awhile n talk to other women…. He knows no woman will understand him like I do n vise versa

  3. Leigh H. says:

    I know what you mean Krystal. My ex wanted to be friends and it has been difficult. We broke up once, remained friends, fooled around a bit, broke up again and he got married. The last time, I had to be in control of how close we get. I don’t think I want to go through anything like the first two times again although the good times were really great. We do a good job of keeping it cordial and hanging with my mother once a year.

  4. Gregory M. says:

    Michael..
    This year is four years with my girlfriend and a few months ago I was going to pop the question and mainly becuase we both we ready and wanting too. Well, she found out I was through a friend and told me she slept with our friend last year and then immediately starting saying she hopes it doesn’t kill our relationship and stuff..but 20 minutes later it turned to being my fault.WTF> So after a day or so I told her I forgive her and lets just move forward and leave it behind. she agreed and seemed happy. but I wanted more discussion she said later..I spoke to our friend and he felt like shit about it. Iwe agreed he shouldnt talk to her until after the proposal..when he informed her, she flipped out and told me I have no right tell her friends they can’t talk to me..I like well I could he broke his jaw. So after 30 minutes she chose him over me and our relationship. 35 days went by and she text me saying she wants to be friend only for now..I told her mo-F-that, we have always been friends that’s how we got here. so its radio silence now..

    I love the girl and would like an explanation. No friends not even the guy speaks to her nor she to them. No even her Twin sister hears from her…
    So what kind of funny text or such should send.? I want to see her, see whats left ..Any help would be great..
    Greg

  5. Tim Earp says:

    My skeptical and cynical radar has just gone up. You sent me this same story from a guy named “Johnny” about his ex girlfriend. Exact same story except for “Johnny” is “Krystal” here and the gender references have been transposed to fit the story.

    What gives?

    Tim Earp

  6. melody says:

    i was in a relationship with a guy for around 5 months and i fall in love with him. i knew he loves me too but he wanted us to be friends and i agreed.we are friends now but now after 5 months i ‘m in love with him more than before .and he is dating other girls and tells me about it (he knows i don’t want to hear these things.)and he doesn’t want to come back to me because he says he ‘s hurting me .but should i do to make him come back

  7. cretiva says:

    I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help.And i saw a testimony of a spell caster who help a girl called michelle and i said let me give it a try so i contact him for help and he cast a love spell for me which i use in getting my love back and now i am a happy woman.Foe what you have done for me,i will not stop to share your goodness to people out there for the good work you are doing.I hope God blesses you as much as you have help me to get my Love back,visit him on lordzshivaspell@gmail.com,he is the only answer to your problems lordzshivaspell@gmail.com

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